Thoughts on friendship and community

From Webster's: vul·ner·a·ble (ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl, ˈvəl-nər-bəl)1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded 2 : open to attack or damage : assailable 3 : liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge.

Perhaps it's the social worker in me--or just my nature--but I think I've developed a reputation over the years of being someone who likes to analyze things. Of course, in recent months my thoughts and perceptions have been narrowed down to things like, "Why isn't McKenna napping like she used to?" or "Why is it she'll eat Gerber mangoes and not the ones I chop/puree from fresh?" Guess that's the life of a mother!

Anyways . . .

I've never claimed to be an exceptionally deep thinker or philospher of any kind. I'm just someone who likes to ask questions. One that continues to surface in my life is this: "When and how does true friendship begin?" When I've brought this up in the past I've found some who believe it's a process that involves fun adventures and common interests. Others have told me that it's a natural thing that happens when you spend time around people in the same walk of life, i.e., two new moms sharing stories about their babies while changing diapers in the church nursery. While there is no doubt some truth in these things, I tend to view the answer to this question a little differently.

I believe that the beginning of true friendship can be an event. I believe that casual acquantainces can become deep-hearted companions once they cross that threshold of vulerability. Paraphrasing Webster, vulnerabilty means throwing personal risk/injury out of the window. It means sharing your thoughts and/or feelings regardless of potential embarrassement or rejection (while remaining tactful, of course). It means not being afraid to look or sound stupid.

So what does this mean for "The Baum Shelter" right now?

I found myself among a group of five ladies last night--myself included. The women in our small group decided we needed to have a "girls' night out" away from husbands and babies. To be honest, I wasn't so sure I wanted to go because of the comfortability of things. I'm not one who always feels like she can connect easily with others. I don't do small talk all that well. I like to go deeper, but am leery of pressuring others with my questions. Timing and setting can be everything. Nevertheless, we chit-chatted about our favorite movies, music we like to listen to, food preferences, coffee addictions, things from our growing up times, etc... All what seemed to be small talk at first. But looking back at our evening, I can see glimpses of vulnerability scattered amongst our quips and quirks. And with my theory in mind, I pray that God will grow these relationships in such a way that spiritual accountability, honest exchange of emotions, and personal growth do nothing but abound.